I have known since Libby was born that she was our caboose and our family was complete. I've always felt good knowing that and never questioned my feelings about it. Even today I didn't. Although, I had a moment in Gap Kids today.
Let's just say I don't get out much, as far as shopping goes. It's just difficult to go to the mall or to the store with kids. I just assume send Shane or I go alone when Shane is home with the kids or we go together. It's much easier. Besides, I spend way less money when I do it that way! :)
But today I dropped my kids off at Mindy's house while I went out Easter dress shopping alone. I headed to Fashion Place mall where I had something on hold for the girls. I ventured into Gap just to look around. As I walked into the store, I was hit by a wave of girl clothes that are the cutest, most darling things you have ever seen. Of course I started looking through some sizes and then I realized as a ton of bricks hit me, that I was in the baby section and my baby would no longer fit into any of those baby clothes. I had to move up to the "toddler" and even "little girl" section. Then the faucets turned on and I began to cry. There I stood in Gap in the midst of the baby clothes crying. I kept saying to myself, "C'mon Lyns, get a hold of yourself!" What was happening to me? Was I baby hungry? No. PMS? No, that was 2 weeks ago. I came to the conclusion that I had finally had "that moment" that I've heard so many women talk about. Up to this point, I had yet to feel these emotions. I see my kids growing up every day, but for some reason, it hit home hard today. It was a sadness that came over me at the realization that my little babies were growing up and I was headed into a new phase of my life... No more babies. It's a phase that I've looked forward to, but also a phase that I'm sad to leave behind. I have loved having babies in our home. It's been such a great time in our lives!
So as I come to this realization, I cry for the mere sadness of not having these sweet little babies in my home that are my own, but I'm thankful that I have had 4 precious little baby girls to love and snuggle and even if they do get older, they'll always be my babies! (sniff, sniff...the tears just won't stop today...)