I have known since Libby was born that she was our caboose and our family was complete. I've always felt good knowing that and never questioned my feelings about it. Even today I didn't. Although, I had a moment in Gap Kids today.
Let's just say I don't get out much, as far as shopping goes. It's just difficult to go to the mall or to the store with kids. I just assume send Shane or I go alone when Shane is home with the kids or we go together. It's much easier. Besides, I spend way less money when I do it that way! :)
But today I dropped my kids off at Mindy's house while I went out Easter dress shopping alone. I headed to Fashion Place mall where I had something on hold for the girls. I ventured into Gap just to look around. As I walked into the store, I was hit by a wave of girl clothes that are the cutest, most darling things you have ever seen. Of course I started looking through some sizes and then I realized as a ton of bricks hit me, that I was in the baby section and my baby would no longer fit into any of those baby clothes. I had to move up to the "toddler" and even "little girl" section. Then the faucets turned on and I began to cry. There I stood in Gap in the midst of the baby clothes crying. I kept saying to myself, "C'mon Lyns, get a hold of yourself!" What was happening to me? Was I baby hungry? No. PMS? No, that was 2 weeks ago. I came to the conclusion that I had finally had "that moment" that I've heard so many women talk about. Up to this point, I had yet to feel these emotions. I see my kids growing up every day, but for some reason, it hit home hard today. It was a sadness that came over me at the realization that my little babies were growing up and I was headed into a new phase of my life... No more babies. It's a phase that I've looked forward to, but also a phase that I'm sad to leave behind. I have loved having babies in our home. It's been such a great time in our lives!
So as I come to this realization, I cry for the mere sadness of not having these sweet little babies in my home that are my own, but I'm thankful that I have had 4 precious little baby girls to love and snuggle and even if they do get older, they'll always be my babies! (sniff, sniff...the tears just won't stop today...)
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11 comments:
Lynds, you are as cute as ever, that is so cute!! Don't worry, you have a little baby niece you can come to AZ anytime to hold and snuggle and cuddle :) you are the best!!
Aww. That moment must be heart-wrenching. We all look forward to the phase you're at right now, but in the midst of challenges that comes with the baby stages, so much shaping takes place. Just find comfort in the fact that your girls are incredible and will only grow into more wonderful people as the years go by. I almost started crying reading about your "moment"! Hope you are doing well!
Bet you don't have those same feelings when you change your last crap filled diaper --
Lyns there will be babies all around you for quite sometime and we'll be happy to have you only experience the good about them. That's even better. You'll get to hold them and have the cuteness and the cuddling, not the up in the middle of the night and the diaper changing.
I love this story, though. It really is a sad thing to think about. I get sad even looking at my kids and wondering how the time has gone by so fast. If you cry when you hold our new baby I will definitely understand why. Don't worry.
Oh Lyndsay! I had that moment too and you would think after 6 kids, 2 miscarriages, 2 weeks in the hospital with a C Section it would make it easy-but it is NOT! We were designed to have that desire of bringing children into the world and when we are done with that part of our lives, it is hard to say goodbye but as you said exciting at the same time to know that your children are the ones you were trusted to raise! Your girls are angels!
I love that you called Shane and he was like I'm busy working...typcial males! Glad to know that hormones don't just get the best of me in a mall, ie Mall of America!!
Well now I'm crying! That's a sweet post. You know, you could still buy the cute baby clothes and dress a Cabbage Patch up. Before you shake your head, think about it. They are cute, cuddly and they don't poop.
Thanks for always making me cry!! I know exactly how you feel! I went through that same thing a few weeks ago!! We can just all cry together and then go shopping for ourselves! :) Love ya!
And now you've got me crying! You are such a cutie. And we have got to get together. Real soon. In fact, I'm calling you today!
Did Leslie really suggest a Cabbage Patch? That girl. Now I'm laughing. Do you remember my Cabbage Patch Timothy Teddy? And the time Amy Bingham let me "babysit" her Cabbage Patch while she went out of town? I took the job very seriously!
I'm glad to see others tear up at the thought of leaving the baby stage. I cry everytime I pack up my baby's clothes for the season. "Thinking he'll never wear these again." All I can say is take on a babysitting job of a baby, that cures the longing to have that stage again.
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